2023 Past runs

It was great to see so many people arrive at Albaston for the run on new years eve, 38 turned up including C5 and Fran from Berkshire. 
The briefing no stock, no crops (later to be criticised by Hornby as there were fields of recently sown grass) and all but one gate opens, forgot to mention the treasure stop but the hash sniffed it out.
Modesty prevents me from praising the trail to highly suffice to say we ran through Cothele woods and into the Cothele fields to the treasure stop before winding back through Todworthy Farm before returning to Albaston. Although there was plenty of moisture underfoot in spite of recent weather we were lucky as it stayed dry with a only a light shower near the end.
Back at Queens Head, somewhere we have not been for many years, down downs were given to the hares, Scarlet Moggy for 1650 runs and Rangi for 550 runs. The RA made an appeal for more people to snitch as no one is reporting misdemeanours.
Our best wishes for a speedy recovery to Foo Foo following her surgery.
Don’t forget to bring £1.50 for subs next week.

In spite of many being away with family and other commitments 21 hashers turned up for the run on Boxing Day.
On arrival at Herodsfoot we were welcomed by Beerpump, a hasher from the Isle of Wight hash who had generously offered to lay the run for us, offering us a glass of foul tasting sherry, his description not mine, the only way to drink it was down in one. 
At the briefing we were instructed in the Isle of Wight markings mostly familiar including the less than popular fishhook which were for the most part ignored. Soon after the off we were joined by West London hashers Cocaine Charlie and C**k Doctor late arrivals.
The trail managed to take in the majority of Herodsfoot woods with stream crossings, tracks and off piste through the scrub returning in over an hour and a half and 5+ miles.
The on down was in one of the forest cabins where we were treated to mulled wine and nibbles laid on by Beerpump and Propshaft with some contribution from l2h3 and hash beer.
The down downs were awarded to our hosts Beerpump and Propshaft and to Spin the Wheel for reaching 100 runs.
Once again thanks to Beerpump and Pushrod for laying the run and I hope they will be back in the future.

Most of us arrived for an 11:00 start but there were exeptions, Carnage and Foo Foo overshooting the venue and Little Bo Peep having to travel all the way from Looe, both playing catch up. 
The briefing given by Whingeing-Pom with interjecions from Bronyon informed us no stock all gates open, edge of crops and tram lines, not so much said about tracks of slurry and ploughed fields. A good run with plenty of hills and shiggy and what seemed like endless fields of beet towards the end nearly a hour into the hash.
Back at Pelynt Social Club down downs we’re given to the hares, Carnage and Little Bo Peep for lateness, Carnage again for a magnificent 1750 runs and Forest for 450 runs.
Boxing day run is being laid by a visiting hasher and I know a lot of people are away or have commitments but support would be appreciated.

A warning at the briefing to tighten shoe laces turned out to be a wise move as once again the weather was kind to us but the conditions underfoot were somewhat damp. The Hares stressed ensuring gates were left as found as there were a number of pregnant sheep around and there would be 3 long short splits one from the start.
The longs took a quick lap of Menheniot before returning to the cricket club and off into footpaths and paddy fields. Dropping down out of Menheniot into the valley made me apprehensive about the climb back up but the hares generously found a long steady slope back in spite of precipitous alternatives. Thanks to Hide and Seek and Mystic Meg for a well timed run.

Back at The Sportsmans B&M was persuaded to stand in for the absent R.A and awarded down downs to the ” lady” hares, Rangi for watering the vegetation in front of “ladies”, Godmother for washing her shoes rather thoroughly (see photo) and Hide and Seek for allegedly leading the hash when a hare.

Boxing day hash is kindly being laid by Beerpump and Propshaft, visitors from Isle of Wight hash who are staying in a cabin at Deerpark and will be providing mulled wine and nibbles and request we could bring leftover Christmas fare along. Their cabin is not far from the cafe so parking is at the usual place near the cafe.

Car parking seems to be a priority for hares lately with B&M slotting us in until Hornby arrived reversing at great speed into a box containing electrics for a pump after which he gave up. 
We were directed to a field for the briefing where the hash became a combination of a hash and hunt the thimble (badly as it happened) where Mr Bloom fired an oval shaped projectile into the grass bank and challenged everyone to find it, the prize being a Christmas tree. Those of us needing a Christmas tree and competitive individuals shot off in pursuit. The shorts and the rest of us set off in the opposite direction to find the trail. The briefing told us the trail was not too long but challenging terrain something of an understatement, we have occasionally had a wimps and rambo split, rarely has it been the other way round with more rambo than wimp. 
It was a while before the group hunting the projectile, having failed to find it, caught up and continued through tracks with lethal bramble loops, up and down hills on no tracks, mostly in my case on my a**e or my knees. Buiscuits was a great help at this juncture aiding the less athletic and down right ancient down steep banks only to be rewarded later. 
A final steep climb took us to the start where the quicker amongst us had resumed their search for the projectile in vain.
Back to the Tipsy Cow down downs for the hares, Hornby for careless driving and Buiscuits for being an angel of mercy.
The Raffle included a playing card draw for the Christmas trees mentioned earlier provided by Mr Bloom.
On a more serious note at the mismanagement meeting it was decided to increase our fees to £1:50 as of January 1st, the first rise for many years to enable us to continue with beer stops and subsidies.

Bronyon and Little Bo Peeps run at Trelawne Barton started with an exercise in parking in the farmyard with the hares directing traffic with enthusiasm. At the briefing the usual laid in sawdust, gates hinge end, sheep and specifically don’t damage anything or anyone as Bronyon had had to sign an indemnity form to obtain permission. The weather being fair, not as cold as expected, the run set off and encountered some confusion early on with an arrow and a slightly obliterated mark that turned out to be a W for walkers which was negotiated with the help of the hares. The run continued through tracks fields and woodland where bramble roots were looped waiting to trip unsuspecting hashers its amazing there were few fallers. Yours truly fell over a low piece of barbed wire, its amazing if a 70 plus person falls in the street everyone rushes to help, not so on the hash. Fortified by sweets we arrived back at the cars in an hour and a quarterish.
Back at Pelynt social club down downs we’re awarded to the hares, Potbelly for the fall and Whingeing-Pom for doing the long and rushing to get back before the shorts.
The Hash Cash has pointed out that funds are falling due to attendances falling this could have a knock on effect of being unable to subsidise future events so we need to try to encourage new members and lapsed runners to return to the fold.

Carnage generously filled a bald spot and laid the hash in horrible November weather. Hashers gathered on the day behind large brick storage outbuildings, which gave some short lived protection from the keen wind. Thanks to this blustery weather, the fog which usually haunts the Carnes’ hashes could not compete, so we were treated to spectacular far reaching views, to Drakes Island and Plymouth on one side and on the other, Rame Head.
Some of the going was pretty hard due to the newly ploughed, rain soaked fields.

The landlord and landlady at Bar Tuskers kindly opened early to accommodate our thirsty hashers. Paddington provided the following poem to express her gratitude for homing Pantihose’s chair, which they had tried to install with a Heath Robinson apparatus themselves.

Jim bought a chair, He didn’t care,
How we would get it up the stair,
We tried all day, alas no way,
So Jim and I were in despair.

Then Justin gave the Hash a shout,
And quick as a flash, they helped us out,
Whingeing took one side – What a Star!
And Barry, the other, How strong you are!

Sniffer and Bronyon fixed the back,
While Dawn sorted out the electrics pack,
Hashers don’t come any finer!
And thanks to you all
Jim has a recliner!

Carnage was awarded a well earned down down, quickly dispatched after shouts of ‘Not Enough Tarmac!’. The Bard and Little Bo Peep were also given a glass for not being able to see a large false whilst standing on it! Apparently the sawdust was too dark, ‘Your Honour!’.

Gathering at Tencreek in appalling weather it was amazing how many hashers turned up it, it never ceases to amaze me that people don’t stay home in the warm with a full English and the Sunday papers in bad weather. 
A minutes silence for Armistice Sunday led by the Bard preceeded the briefing, respect gates, quiet by sheep and keep an eye on the co hare Biscuits as she might not know where she is going. 
A muddy wet run followed with several steep climbs well marked and challenging trail even though the weather took a turn for the better even a little sun. At a river crossing over a small arched bridge Biscuits was stood on top helping the old and decrepit (me) over the slippery surface and later recrossing the river on a slightly more substantial bridge treasure was waiting on the other side, before the climb back to the cars. 
Thanks to Godmother and Biscuits for the run sussed and laid in very inclement weather.
Back at The Sportsman’s the RA stamped his authority on proceedings giving down downs to the hares (Biscuits was to busy to attend) 350 runs for Sun Dodger and Kiss Me for a classic fall, all at the same time.
Thanks to Carnage for stepping up to fill next weeks bald spot.

Twenty six brave souls turned up on Sunday to the run hared by Brillo and Grenville from the leisure centre car park in Saltash on a pleasant but chilly morning.
At the briefing we were warned there would be plenty of scope for whingeing aimed at Whingeing-Pom and he was not wrong. There was a Looe and Liskeard / Plympton split if we wanted a shorter run.
The longs and shorts set of in opposite directions from the car park following flour and red chalk marks and fairly soon came together not knowing if we were following the right trail fortunately Grenville arrived to show the way. After more long short splits Briĺlo was waiting at the Plympton/L2H3 check where longs split into several groups all coming back together in no time at all. Around a sports ground followed by along uphill climb took us back to the cars in just over the hour.
On to the Cecil Arms for moderately priced beer and food laid on by the landlord, thanks to him.
Down Downs awarded to the Hares, Mystic Meg for 950 runs, Potbelly for moving from a disabled spot and running over car park barrier and Rubberlegs for calling onto the check when stood in the centre circle of the football pitch. As an afterthought the RA pushed the hash prat tee shirt in my direction.

On arriving at Minions car park, not the Hurlers, at 10:45 expecting to see the usual groups of lycra clad athlete’s stretching and warming up in preparation for the gruelling event to follow there was no sign of any activity. Thinking I must be in the wrong location the Invisable Man came out of his car and commented that for the first time ever he was pleased to see me.
After a few more hardy individuals arrived to brave the cold wind with threats of rain the hares briefed us two long shot splits , keep to footpaths in fields and shorts to stay until longs were off.
After a convoluted run, walk stagger for some, we decended into an unkempt woodland reminiscent of something out of Lord of the Rings, shortcut by several front runners, who denied it later, followed by the inevitable climb back to the car park. 
On back to Wheal Tor to defrost, rehydrate, dry out and a game of sardines.
Down downs to the hares ,thanks to them for stepping in in late to ensure we had a run, for a challenging trail and to two visitors from London Hash Cocaine Charlie and C**k Doctor, there was a great deal of speculation as to how these names came about.
Anyone intending to attend hash camp requiring statics or pods needs to book sooner than later as the site is quite popular. 
Sunday 19th Nov is still a bald spot contact Little Bo Peep if you can help

 I had, hoped that with only a few days to get permission and plan the route being a last minute effort by Hornby ably assisted by Whingeing-Pom the run would not be too taxing but after an hour and twenty five minutes it obviously wasn’t the case.
The briefing was the usual sawdust,two long short splits and don’t enter fields with stock and to our surprise use your common sense with gates,something of an oxymoron when addressing hashers. 
The packs set off around Stoke Climsland and out into fields encouraged by the hare,Hornby, to be more enthusiastic and more calling and when this was met with little response he decided to do it himself resulting in a down down later.
The trail continued through long grass, boggy bits,tussocks,paths tracks, a football pitch and a small amount of road before the relief of arriving back at The Old Stoke Climsland School and the cars.
Retiring to the Social Club we received a warm welcome and there were burgers and hot dogs for those who wanted them. Thanks to them for their welcome in fact I received an email from them thanking us for using them and we were a great crowd, praise indeed.
B&M took over as RA for the day and took advantage of Wigan Whippets absence with down downs for the hares(Hornby being asked to drink only half as he had a misdemeanour as well but that was revoked and another beer purchased), Kiss Me for 350 runs, Hornby for front running and calling when a hare, Little Bo Peep for failing to tell the difference between a stone and a check, hash prat shirt awarded to her, Hector for finding a football and kicking it the rest of the way round(with that much energy he should be on the long), Rangi for traversing the countryside without a lump of metal between his legs following his epic cycle ride and one to himself for not behaving in the spirit of the hash not wanting to do any more falses. 
November 19 is still a bald spot if anyone can step in.

It was nice to return to Boconoc after what seems a good deal of time it must have moved a bit further away which would account for my late arrival. 
Setting out to try and catch up l soon encountered Eric Big Axe, the sole hare, hobbling around a junction to point the way. It continued along paths and tracks with great views across the valley.
Catching up with the pack at the first of two long short splits the long trail continued along tracks, a bit quick for my liking, until the next long short split wher we veered off into long grass and woodland before the run in. 
Thanks to Eric Big Axe for the run and arranging decent weather even if it was a bit cooler.
Back at The Highwayman thanks to Hornby for standing in for the absent RA giving down downs to the Hare and Paddington who arrived with a mechanical issue that was resolved by the hare.
If you have not already done it Wigan Whippet is taking names and menu choices for the Christmas Dinner. (And money)
We are desperate for hares please contact Little Bo Peep if you can fill in any bald spots.

31 hashers arrived at Minard Farm on a glorious autumn morning the weather was so good that Hornby was complaining that we need a summer and winter hash prat tee shirt (really).
The briefing one long short split, no stock and treasure the latter greeted with enthusiasm. We set off in different directions the longs passing through fields until some confusion caused it to split into two groups only coming back together after going round three sides of a maize field, through brambles and nettles, more fields and a bog.
The longs and shorts came together just before the treasure stop and we were accosted by beasties (hornets?) on the short run back to the cars.
Down downs we’re awarded to The Hares Kiss Me and Trugg, Hornby 1100 runs and to B&M for 100 runs its amazing what he has achieved in such a short time with us.
Misdemeanours were given to the RA by himself for falling in bog and then rolling in long grass to clean off and The Bard for trying to avoid bog and still falling in. 
Biscuits had a special mention for climbing a gate in the middle when it was easily opened.
Captain Oats has kindly offered to host a Boxing Day hash more details will follow nearer the time.

As we made our way along the Whitsand Bay road to the start of this week’s run, we hit the thick mist, making us feel autumnal – the season of ‘mists and mellow fruitfulness’, particularly as we were on our way from Harvest Festival at St Keyne. Indeed, it was very reminiscent of FooFoo and Carnage’s runs in the area, with the mist often not allowing us to see the wonderful views. Just as we reached the military road , miraculously the mist cleared.
Arriving at the start a few minutes late, it was with some trepidation as I set off, being very aware of the hares’ reputation for saving trees in terms of amount of sawdust used, but after being sent in the right direction by the walkers, the trail was well laid with plenty of drops and regular checks, which had been kicked out. With plenty of haws and sloes around this autumn, I soon came across someone picking the latter, who told me that the runners had passed 10 minutes earlier (not a good sign as I had started only 5 minutes or so late!). 
Eventually I caught up with Jaws and the Shorts near the long-short split, at which stage , the drops reverted to expectations. Regular communication with Jaws kept me going until Kingsand where Mystic Meg & Hide & Seek were leading the Longs – as it turned out along a false trail. I was able to take the lead up a long false, apparently without a false, until it was pointed out that it was marked in a pile of maize silage outside a recently harvested maize field (back to the ‘mellow fruitfulness’ theme); I was told that I would have known to look out for it , if I had had the courtesy to attend the briefing!
Jaws did mention that the trail might qualify him for their retention of the ‘Too Much Tarmac’ Award at this stage. We all kept going with the longs keeping together, until we reached what we thought was the long run-in up the road back to the start. Rubberlegs and Too Posh, however, appeared from a footpath to the right, insisting that the longs needed to go inside the field. The longs were a bit hesitant, but there was a marked contraflow system in operation which B & M ably led us round. There were even typed out instructions at key points on this final loop – a first for L2H3? Forest & Biscuits paid the price for leaving the rest of the longs behind on the long haul up the road and missed the final loop.
Other news from the shorts were Paddington’s problems with a stile, but she still managed to get back with Pantyhose just after the longs. Thanks to the hares for a run which pushed us, with many moaning about being too hot for October (apparently the hottest start to the month for 12 years) – again following the ‘mellow’ theme.
The esteemed RA, Invisible Man, awarded down-downs to the hares Jaws & Hotbottom (who also completed 1150 runs) and hash prat to Hornby for a parking violation (apparently at Penlee, one is not supposed to go straight into a parking place, but go to the opposite end and come back!?!!??).

A select group turned up for the first JMs hare of the dog run since 
covid which seems to be on the rise again with I’m Free, Eastern Promise, Carnage and Foo Foo all stricken hope to see them back soon.
The weather as at the AGM was kind to us as we set off with a bit of a tarmac pad at the early part of the run, an early bid for the too much tarmac award, before trails through fields  woods and Cothele tracks a short way along a stream and on home.

At the Capenter Arms there were down downs for the hares Godmother, Whingeing-Pom, and  Potbelly.  A down down also for B&M for being unable to tell the difference between an S and an L at the long short split.
With multiple hares everyone took home a raffle prize but some were happier than others.

Thanks to Withane for sending out the annual stats if anyone hasn’t received them or can’t open the email let us know and we will get them to you somehow.

 Hash cash is taking names and menu choices for the Christmas Dinner to be held on January 21st at Horizon Farm.

Firstly thanks to B&M and his mismanagement for a successful year it will be a hard act to follow as B&Ms who has done less than 100 runs did a magificent job thoroughly deserving hasher of the year award.
The outgoing mismanagement laid a challanging run from Looe Mills layby through pleasant fields and then into the difficult terrain of highwood with rough scrub and multiple climbs. A welcome beer awaited us at the cars before driving to Trevelyan (many thanks to Get One Free) for the buisness of the AGM.
We were treated to a rare display of how to dress by the outgoing mismanagement wearing dinner jackets and bow ties and the hash mistresses donning their posh frocks.
A magnificent spread followed prepared and dished out by Er Indoors and Get One Free (a big thankyou to them) the vegetarians going first but there was more than enough for everone and seconds if you could manage it .
The hash awards came next with an Oscars theme with nominations to numerous to rememember and I can’t write that quick.
Hash Hero Sun Dodger For supplying discounted goods
Too much tarmac Jaws and Hotbottom
Young hasher of the year Brown Nose
Hare of the dog Snowdrops and Spin the Wheel
Hare of the year Godmother and Biscuits
Hasher of the year B&M  
Down Downs awarded to Er Indoors and Get One Free for their catering endeavors follwed by delicious puddings then announcement of the new mismmanagement and down downs for the retiring one thanks to them once again for the past year.

A day when the hash said a final farewell to our much loved and admired Grand Master, and as the scribe whose task it is to record the events I make no apology for putting my personal perspective on the day. As the hash gathered at Bodmin for Chopper’s funeral in a sombre mood it soon became apparent that it was going to be standing room only with many of us outside. I know that a large turnout can give some small measure of comfort to the family and I hope that this was the case. Two points in the ceremony that left a vivid impression on me and I must admit a tear in my eye. The first was the poem recited by Daisy May in memory of her grandfather said with tremendous courage and composure. The second was the eulogy given by Chopper’s longstanding Navy oppo, and partner in many hash adventures Wiggan Whippet. He recalled some of these escapades with a genuine warmth and affection that brilliantly illustrated why Tony was so special to so many people. Gone but not forgotten as the well known saying goes, and this was certainly the case at the wake where glasses were raised, and stories and photos about Chopper were in much evidence. 
On behalf of us all I thank the family for the hospitality at the Sportsman Arms and you are in our thoughts.

It was Chopper’s, and the families wish that the scheduled hash for the evening should go ahead and whilst most of us were in the warm scoffing food spare a thought for The Bard and Scarlet Moggie who were out on the moor in the wind and rain laying the trail. Before the hash started I noticed two strange occurrences in the car park. One Hornby was already there indeed the first to arrive, instead of his usual arrival time halfway through a hash, and the second incident was Invisible Man’s car alarm went off luckily he was visible at the time and I spotted him sitting in the driving seat so either he was stealing his own car of suffering some technical malfunction. One swallow doth not a summer make and lets hope two hashers in woolly hats doth not a winter make, for indeed two sensible hashers wore the first woolly hats of the Autumn. After the shivering through the briefing it was a relief to set off, where we found a twisting unpredictable trail with many checks (impressively all perfect circles) as we have come to expect from these experienced hares with one bear trap so to speak of four drops and a false, aimed at front runners Forest who was not at the hash, and Hornby who missed the trap completely, leaving B&M to stumble into it. Hornby with a great sense of duty carried the hash horn around the trial even though it was unserviceable, a case of seen but not heard. With the wintry weather and the rapidly failing light it was a relief to see the home sign marking the last Monday evening run of the hash year. This is also your humble scribe’s last scribble, as a new Hon Sec and Mismanagement take over the reins at the A.G.M on Saturday may they have a fair wind at their backs and plain sailing..

On Down:
Held at the Manor House Inn thanks to them once again it was an extension of the first wake with photos and tales about Chopper circulating.
The hares had organised pasties, and once again The Manor house served them up piping hot which was exactly what was required on such a cold evening.
The money raised by the raffle was donated to Shelter Box for Ukraine the total raised was £110 well done everyone

Down Downs and Misdemeanours:
Hares: The Bard and Scarlet Moggie they did not have a down down the money was instead donated to Shelter Box.
Darcy Bussell for completing the Truro Half Marathon the previous day in a PB.
Wiggan Whippet & Sniffer: who celebrated their Golden Wedding at the weekend ( I hear there is photographic evidence going the rounds showing just how much Wiggan Whippet did Celebrate) many congratulations to you both.

Other items/comments:
There are plenty of bald spots after the A.G.M that need filling.
Now the web page is the hub of the hash, web spider needs an understudy who is willing to learn the dark arts of the web, so someone can stand in for her and eventually take over the job.

On a day peppered with heavy showers the hash was fortunate indeed to avoid any rain during the evenings outing. Mystic Meg spoke the words of wisdom which generally speaking your scribe finds enters one ear of the hash and exits the other ear without overly bothering the little grey cells that are reputed to reside between said ears. A notable exception to this inattention is if a bull gets mentioned, when I imagine a primitive survival instinct kicks in and you can almost see the ears pricking up, straining to catch what could be information vital to self preservation. Anyway our fears were allayed as the hare testified to the fact they were both hale and hearty fellows, of a very amiable disposition, who we may or may not meet, as Mystic Meg advised us she could not be positive as to their whereabouts.
I know I often bang on about bulls but honestly as a literary windfall they are priceless, and you can’t look a gift horse in the mouth so to speak.
From the start the longs looped out through fields to join the shorts as the trail reached Draynes Common where many checks and false trails were encountered making finding the trail a worthy challenge for the pack, and at times it seemed for the hares. Two visiting hashers Nose Job & Running Nose ( former L2H3 hashers you can leave but you can’t check out ) did a great job as front runners in the absence of some of our normal culprits. Hash Horn did eventually appear but I have not recently heard the dulcet tones of the hunting horn calling to the pack. Is this some technical issue or could my hearing be failing me. 
With the light rapidly fading making the spotting of holes and boulders a bit tricky the home arrow was a welcome sight, a great run out, across a landscape with great views and evidence of human activity for thousands of years from cairns to a medieval transhumance hut.
Next weeks hash is being run on the day of Chopper’s funeral it will be an extension of the wake, and a time to recall the good times and celebrate the life of Tony a much loved man and a life well lived. Our thoughts are with his nearest and dearest.

On Down:
Held at The St Neot Social Club the first challenge was getting there and for this I and several others have to thank Kiss Me, who must have felt like the pied piper of Hamlin as a long line of cars followed in her wake as she left the farm. Our confidence in Kiss Me was not misplaced and she guided us as surely as any St Bernard to alcoholic sustenance.
Thanks once again to The St Neot Social Club for their hospitality

Down Downs and Misdemeanours:
Hares : Mystic Meg & Falsie a high five to you both.
Hash Prat: In recent weeks it seems to have been the in vogue fashion dress for hares, this week is no exception, though I thought Sun Dodger the holder of the title took rather too much glee in passing on the t- shirt to Mystic Meg for unintended misdirection of the hash.

Other items/comments:
Due to a typo ( Hide ‘N Seeks email incorrect ) the new Hash Directory has been reprinted so the message from Wigan Whippet is to bin the one one issued two weeks ago, and get a new copy from him. 
Next weeks hash the raffle money will be donated to Shelter Box I hear some quality prizes are on offer so lets open up the wallets and purses.
If you want a Pasty at the On Down don’t forget to order from Scarlet Moggie
It may be handy to have a head torch next week.

A fine warm sunny evening greeted us at Trenodden Farm as we gathered for the briefing by Hide’n Seek and Sun Dodger. Having reported on many of these talks this year I have noticed the hash adopts the look of the passengers on a plane as the flight attendants churn out the emergency info such as exits, life jacket stowage, and putting your head between your knees to kiss your ass good-by. However this glazed over, pretending to listen but not really uploading the data countenance vanished, to one of concern at the mention of a grumpy bull, followed by relief as it was revealed that grumpy was no longer at large. In fact he was incarcerated in a stall overlooking the briefing and did indeed look grumpy, though whether this was because he had been removed from his ladies to accommodate the leisure pursuits of humans, or he overheard Sun Dodger calling him grumpy we will never know.
On setting off the hash indulged in some aimless wandering about before finding the scent then followed the trail through fields that gave some stunning views across SE Cornwall and on up into Devon. The hares had provided a challenging trail through the scenic landscape with some very steep climbs, non grumpy if lively cows, and with what some could consider slightly underhand the laying of four drops, before the false, quickly dashing the euphoria of shouting ” four on on. ” A most enjoyable outing was had by all as we returned in the fading light, a sign summer is leaving us although at times this year I am not sure it really arrived.

On Down:
Held at The Sportsman’s Arms Menheniot.
Thanks to them once again for putting up with us and the excellent cheesy chips. Thanks once again to Hornby for stepping in as RA.

Down Downs and Misdemeanours:
Hares: Hide’N Seek & Sun Dodger here’s to you two 
Milestone: You’r Nikked 25 runs well done you, and congratulations on getting married on Saturday.
Hash Pratt: Sun Dodger I did not grasp the reason for this award, but I don’t think it was payback by Hornby the stand in RA, on Sun Dodger who has this year dished out a few misdemeanours Hornby’s way this year.

Before the briefing tribute was paid to our much loved and respected Grand Master Chopper who died early Sunday morning. He will be sorely missed by everyone. Then a minute’s silence was held where we were asked to remember the good times we had shared with Tony and on completion of the silence a round of applause to celebrate a life well lived. All our thoughts are with his family at this difficult time, RIP Tony.

A very subdued Hash set off after the briefing by Brown Nose to the inevitable climb from St Neot up to the moorland above the village with its many trails causing the pack some head scratching and difficulty finding the trail. This difficulty was compounded by some laissez faire with the normal accepted rules of L2H3 with several infractions most notable of which was at least six drops to one false trail. Still it was all grist to the mill, and one of the younger hounds gave an impressive performance in finding the scent and calling out the checks and drops like a seasoned hasher. As if showing us how it should be done was not enough for the young Henry, he then ran past us up a very steep incline that reduced the rest of us to a slow crawl, and he did not even seem to be breathing heavily. 
I feel at this juncture it would be remiss of your scribe, not to mention the quality of fare provided by the hares at the treasure stop a fine selection of confectionery and in ample numbers so as to remove any guilt about having a third sweet, in case a later arrival would find the cupboard bare.

On Down:
Held at the St Neot Social Club with some really cheap ale on offer to finish off the kegs from the days beerfest, thanks to them once again.

The RA called the hash to order, and in honour of a lost comrade asked the hash to stand, raise their glasses, and drink a toast to Chopper.

Down Downs and Misdemeanours:
Hares: Brown Nose, Get One Free, & Sniffer Here’s to you three.
Henry: given his hash name of Mountain Goat, a big high five to you.
Sniffer: hash pratt t-shirt for playing fast and loose with the accepted rules of L2H3 sawdust distribution. The other two hares in the opinion of the RA (which is all that matters) escaped a down down due to mitigating circumstances.

The main goal of the hash was to get everyone back to the pub in time to take full advantage of the happy hour this box was ticked in a resounding manner. Through the lovely pastures of Ford Farm, both longs and shorts sniffed out the trail as one pack. On reaching Rosecraddock Woods the shorts followed the trail through the woods fording the river in two places before returning through, some dense shrubbery to return on the hour in an impressive example of hashing.  
The longs once the shorts had left them to their own devices seemed to spend ages running about up their own backsides free styling, but seemed to enjoy it all the same, and eventually arrived in the woods to complete the trail. ( All be it with dry feet by missing the river crossing, not doubt the clock ticking down to the end of happy hour looming large in their minds.)
What did we think of the hash rubbish!!!
What did we think of the on down brilliant!!!

On Down:
Held at The Market Inn St Cleer thanks to them for hosting us once again, and the happy two hours of half price beverages.

Down Downs and Misdemeanours:
Hares: B&M, Spin the Wheel, Your Nikked & Snowdrops.
Milestones; Biscuits 250 hashes a big high five.
Godmother a birthday girl next week 
Misdemeanours; Hornby for bemoaning he missed his pudding due to the early start.

Any other details:
This week the run report has been written on the web page to test the new system so its ready if its adopted at the AGM. 
If anyone would like to give it go next week and write a run report let me know.

The run of fine Monday evenings after a wet weekend continued as the hash gathered for the briefing by I’m Three. He invited the hash to stand in a huge puddle, almost a pond in fact to hear his words of wisdom, an invite the assembly refused by huddling around the edge of the watery expanse in, as would become evident later in the run a vain attempt to keep dry feet. We recently had a hash where one word tussocks summed the run up, in this instance your scribe needs two words namely stingy and scratchy with lots of nettles, brambles and stubble ( my legs felt like they were on fire all night ). The hash set off in different directions with the longs on a loop out before rejoining the shorts for the first time. We were treated to some magnificent views of Sharp Tor and the high ground of Bodmin Moor, and to the east up towards Dartmoor all in the late evening light food for the soul indeed. Unfortunately the sense of wellbeing was fleeting as the hares had directed the trail down shiggy alley, a long stretch of mire with no escape route. At this point your scribes shoelace decided to unravel leaving a choice between losing a shoe. tripping over the lace, or tieing up the offending lace covered in oozing slimy mud. ( I remember an old film where the Gods on Olympus visited misfortune on mortals for their amusement, I daresay the had a good chuckle at my dilemma) Worthy of mention was how how agreeable it was that a veritable herd of young people had joined the hash, dashing about like duracell bunnies full of energy and enthusiasm as a contrast to our usual rather plodding progression. The hares had done us proud lots of checks, great views and the puddle/pond shunned at the brief now served as a shoe washing opportunity how things change in a short time.

On Down:
At the Manor House Rilla Mill thanks to them ( lovely pint of Bass) and they took the sensible precaution of closing early before we got too rowdy.

Down Downs and Misdemeanours:
Hares: Eastern Promise and I’m Three, great hash you have won the shiggy of the year award hands down.
Scarlet Moggy for updating the web page now a thing of beauty

A special occasion namely Panty Hose’s birthday saw this week’s hash moved from Monday evening to the usual winter time of 11am on Sunday. Thankfully Saturdays gale, which in a master class of understatement 
I heard described as unseasonably strong winds, had blown through leaving Looe looking rather splendid at high tide in the sunshine. (maybe it’s the sun that could be labelled unseasonable)
Once the briefing was concluded the longs and shorts were despatched in diametrically opposite directions with I thought, a distinct spring in their step, the cause of which could either have been the the the lovely streets of Looe or they had the scent of free drink and food in their nostrils ( I will leave it to you the readers, to come to a judgement on this matter) To the bemusement of the many visitors enjoying the sea air  the pack threaded through them dashing along the promenade receiving surprisingly little banter and abuse and for once no small child joined in and showed us a clean pair of heels. The trail then showed its teeth by directing us up one almighty climb to the top of West Looe whereby the spring in the step had definitely left the building. At this juncture I feel it would be churlish not to mention the the legion of hares who kept us on the straight and narrow they seemed to be omnipresent, it put me in mind of when the stokers 
liberated some rabbits from a local petting zoo and released them on the ship, everywhere you went there was a pair of rabbit eyes staring back at you. Well done to all the hares and Whingeing Pom who I understand acted as a consultant, (usually consultants  charge a fortune to state the obvious) I am sure that was not the case in this instance.
To the main event of the day a keg of ale presented to Panty Hose by the hash for his birthday and a wonderful buffet of food provided by Paddinton & Panty Hose for their guests. Paddington asked me to thank you all for the many good wishes, and the salads and desserts you brought to the party. The hash were in full enjoyment mode, a wonderful sight to behold, weary legs forgotten as they set the drinking club part of their remit. A memorable day thanks to all who made it possible, especially the birthday boy.
Down Downs
Hares: Panty Hose, Paddington. Esme, Chipmunk, Yapalot, Pretty in Pink, Josh, & Nom de Plume.
Virgin hashers: Ellie & Ollie 
A big high five for you all.

Hornby and Sniffer gave us a hash on the high moor from Bolventor that can be summed up by one adjective namely “ Tussocks”. These clumps of marshy grass are particularly difficult to navigate especially with the summer growth, and cattle leaving deep invisible holes in the soft soil, both boxes that had been well and truly ticked by the Hares. Having had a long acquaintance with tussocks, your correspondent has often wondered why in the lexicon of extreme sports they do not feature more prominently. I would wager that after 10 miles of tussocks competitors would be longing to run in death valley, or pull a sledge to the South Pole, and other such feats of human endurance, rather than face one more clump of grass. The pack set off on the conclusion of the briefing to the first long short split, whereby the longs to their delight, encountered a fish hook so had to trudge all the way back to the long short split, and on the way negotiate for the second time a stile that had a coefficient of friction so low as to render staying upright virtually impossible.
The open moorland then beckoned with the checks providing a real challenge to find the trail on the open terrain, and along with the tussocks reduced the whole pack to walkers for long periods. The hares took us up to the top of Tolborough Tor and with the evening light, as the sun dropped behind Bronn Wennili, (hill of the swallows) gave us atmospheric views across Bodmin Moor. In one last twist of the knife, towards the end of the hash the hares had found a mother lode of shiggy, which after tripping, I was sure Snowdrops was going to become intimately acquainted with, but somehow she defied the laws of physics and gravity managed to remain upright much to the disappointment of the onlookers.
On Down
Held at the Kings Head Five Lanes the first time for several years, thanks to them.
The Hon Sec stood in as makeshift RA, so rather poor fare compared to the usual On Downs.
However B&M did take the opportunity to remind one and all that the AGM is fast approaching, and a new mismanagement team will be needed come September. On the plus side the RA bagged the first raffle prize out of the yellow bag ( let’s hope the unlucky green bag has been lost) and Hash Cash had minimum outlay ( A pound saved is equivalent to two earned)
Down Downs
Hares: Hornby & Sniffer Here’s to you two a splendid hash.

Our recent visits to Bodmin Moor had proved somewhat challenging on the weather front and the portents earlier in the day indicated the hash may be in for yet another ‘’character building’’ outing. It was with some relief that come the appointed hour at Minions, the weather had finally relented and the hash was greeted by a fine sunny evening with panoramic views. 
Forest and Hide N Seek had laid a course that certainly made the hash work to find the trail, with many checks on open moorland and some very long false tracks ( a trademark of Hide N Seek). It was slow going following the trail so the solution seemed to be just run in a direction perceived collectively to be the right way, despite any evidence of minor things like small heaps of sawdust ( as it was obviously the way but the hares had been very remiss and neglected to lay any sawdust). Eventually it did dawn on the hash that maybe, just maybe they were headed in the wrong direction this happened a number of times not just the once. Einstein, apart from giving the world the theory of relativity, had a quote for most occasions, in this case, ‘’The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result’’ would seem to fit the bill.
However the hares were not entirely blameless as we came to a three way split, Long Short and W ( which our recent hosts in Mijas called a word that rhymes with bankers). It has to be recorded that the long arrow was at least 30 degrees away from pointing to where the actual trail went. I mention this not to castigate the hares, but to warn you all not to part with any cash if either of the hares offer you a treasure map. Anyway I digress.
In the case of the longs, knowing how we all love limboing  through prickly undergrowth, with a good boggy section, whilst negotiating steep ups and downs strewn with sharp rocks and massive boulders ( or as I overheard one of our number utter the phrase’’ a real hash’’) the hares had saved the best for last. 
On Down: Once again at the Wheal Tor Hotel with its excellent cheesy chips and good beer.
Down Downs:
Hares: Forest & Hide N Seek Here’s to you two, top job.
We had a guest appearance from Little Miss Tipsy doing her old job of pulling out the raffle tickets but thankfully not mine sweeping the venue as was apparently her forte in the past.

In these days of strife with the devil take the hindmost, and monetary gain seems to be the ultimate goal across the board, hashing stands out as an embodiment of the older and more gentle values of one for all and all for one – the motto of Cornwall. Where else could you contact two complete strangers out of the blue in Spain and in no time at all they had organised for us a full weekend of drinking, eating and hashing, it’s quite extraordinary if you stop to think about it.

The weekend consisted of a pub crawl on Friday night, (needless to say it got messy ) a trip up into the mountains to the lakes on Saturday with a picnic, and on Sunday a pool to pool hash with BBQ in Campo Mijas. It was a one hell of a weekend and we thank all of those who made it so, especially  Sir Lee Marvin of Malaga H3 and STTI of Mijas H3. It’s not possible to document a blow by blow account of the events ( or maybe I am too lazy ) and it gets very hazy at times, but my most abiding impression is the lovely people of all three hashes and how after a couple of drinks it was like we had all known each other for years. As the poor unfortunate whose task has been to organise stuff this year my greatest reward is seeing hashers with the ”enjoy yourself throttle” pushed to the stops, having a great time. 

Pub Crawl with both hashes, Starting at The famous sherry bar and ending at the now infamous Dutch bar with its pub games including a Spin The Wheel that so fascinated Pudding Tits that with the powers invested in me as Hon Sec her new hash name is Spin the Wheel. 

Saturday a coach ride to Malaga lakes, a quite challenging trail with steep climbs through pine forests with a welcome dip in the lake to cool off, as it was a trifle warm  followed by a super picnic and an On Down of many songs.

Sunday The pool to pool Hash Mijas.

Here is the link  to the Mijas hash report which says it all. https://www.mijash3.com/run-reports-2023/2023/7/10/run-1867-16-july-2023-pool-run

Finally a big high five for Malaga City, a huge traffic free area to wander around a great beach, plenty of stuff to see and places to eat and drink, and it’s all kept spotless.

Now I am sitting in the garden wondering how the hell I am going to forge a few words together to describe, and give the essence of this year’s hash camp. Then my eye fell on amongst all the detritus of the BBQs etc, a box of french red wine abandoned by its rightful owner. My mind immediately turned to some of the literary greats Dyllyn Thomas, Jeffrey Bernad, Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, and the romantic poets such as Byron and Shelly who produced their masterpieces whilst absolutely off their tits on mind enhancing substances. You  are properly ahead of me, yes I quaffed the few glasses left and awaited literary genius to hove into view, sad to say there was no sign of it so you will have to endure my usual scribbling. I shall record as it stuck in my mind not as a blow by blow account of events.

Thanks to the Mismanagement crew, to Wigan Whippet, and Sundodger for organising the catering  and much more, also Brown Nose for helping with the BBQ ( a future Hon Sec if ever I saw one), and Pudding Tits who is cleaning the BBQs as I write. To all who  brought and sorted out the cakes and tea, to Potbelly and Withanne for the beer gazebo. The biggest high five goes to all of you who were able to attend, the sight of the Hash steaming across the countryside in search of the drops, and of you enjoying each other’s company whilst being pretty hammered, was  ample reward.

The first run, which was under the constraint of getting back to camp before the pasties got cold, started at  Peter Tavy. Honestly you could not make it up mismanagement went  to great lengths to hunt down some shiggy, only instead of a landowner keeping us to the footpath ( where is a farmer with a shotgun when you need him ) a delightful farmer  diverted the delicate flowers of the longs, through their yard to avoid the mire. Horby excepted who in the true spirit of hashing embraced the shiggy and completed the course as laid well done. The timing was spot on all arriving back at camp as Wigan Whippet appeared with the steaming hot pasties.

The second run started at The Fox and Hounds territory well known to our senior members. The shorts and longs were separated by a valley so the longs made a fine spectacle from my perspective with the shorts, streaming across the moor opposite us. Someone who shall remain nameless said the number of calls of arrow from the longs suggested that the Apache were on the warpath. The Fox and Hounds did us proud with good food and ale promptly served, and a warm welcome. We gathered round the memorial bench to Ginge, a L2H3 hasher who sadly passed away on hash camp, for a group photo to send to his relatives.

The Third run from Pork Hill car park  zig zagged around the numerous paths in the area. The longs were directed towards Cox Tor and through a culvert under a road, an invitation that those strong of back and knee took up, where they joined with the shorts for the run home. Special mention for Capt’n Oates who led the shorts for a while being the only one seeming able to spot a pile of sawdust, and to Panty Hose and Paddington who completed the short trail and negotiated a tricky crossing of the leet.

Personal highlights:
Putting up Hide and Seek’s tent in a howling gale with pegs that would not tether a reasonably fit hamster. All hands turned out and it must have looked like the Keystone Cops from afar.
The shirts of many colours stag party at the Fox and Hounds, one of them was trying to stick his male appendage in the grooms ear, where upon Pudding Tits informed the assailant it was not very big, the riposte was it’s bigger than yours, a slam dunk for the young man methinks.
The ducks bless their little fluffy heads.( except for the one who should be on the sexual offenders list ) To see the youngsters and families enjoying the camping life with its freedom and comradery. 
The brilliant staff, nothing was too much trouble for them, and a great campsite, the accommodation and facilities spotless.
The lately  discovered wild swimming opportunity in the River Tavy cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey ( derived from Navy speak as so many common expressions are )  If I had not tripped on a boulder I would still only be up to my knees shouting it’s freezing,
Rangi falling over and blaming Biscuits for pushing him,
Snowdrops with a demo of what hardcore hashing is all about.
Whingeing Pom only mentioned proper job once, and set about the tribute with gusto.

Great to have C5, and Mr and Mrs Blobby from Berkshire with us again ( C5 who I heard on one hash saying he’s getting a bit old and for the long and will decide which he will do  at the first long, short split. The next time I saw him he was passing the shorts with  the  long front runners  on the home straight).  Hustling of the first order, don’t play him at poole for money.  

The lovely old world Peter Tavy Inn, for the GMs dinner, you sorely missed Chopper. May your chocks be away and the whirly things give you lift off to fly amongst us soon.

Great times with great people that will live in the memory.